


Smoke Rings in the Dark

by icegirl99



Series: Short Stories Inspired by Songs [1]
Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Drinking, M/M, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22414327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icegirl99/pseuds/icegirl99
Summary: The rain falls where it wants toWind blows where it willEverything on earth goes somewhereBut I swear we're standin' stillSo I'm not going to wake youI'll go easy on your heartI'll just touch your face and drift awayLike smoke rings in the dark
Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Papa Emeritus III
Series: Short Stories Inspired by Songs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614253
Comments: 11
Kudos: 14





	Smoke Rings in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Yes the summary is song lyrics. I used the song as inspiration for this little drabble that is my first attempt at Papa's point of view.
> 
> Song is Smoke Rings in the Dark by Gary Allen

I sucked on my cigarette, looking out at the grounds of my church below me. I had thought that coming out here would bring me some calm. It did not. 

The balcony I stood on was much smaller than mine, but still spacious enough for comfort. I leaned against the metal railing, my back to the half open doorway that led to my lover's bedroom. He was sleeping in his bed, after crying himself to sleep. He did that a lot recently. Our fights had gotten worse over the past few weeks. Andrea and I had never had a perfect relationship. Not many people do, but ours in particular wasn't what it should have been. 

In the beginning we were both happy. Our arguments would happen but then we would make up and fuck each other's brains out until we passed out and woke up feeling better. 

But then the tears would come and I couldn't stop him from crying. I tried comforting him, telling him that I was sorry but that would never change. I searched for his love for me but I didn't find it. I wasn't sure I loved him anymore. The loneliness I felt when we were together told me that I couldn't love a man that I fought with constantly. We were two very different people, our personalities were not made for one another. 

I took another puff of my cigarette and then put it out. Emptying the glass of whiskey I held in my hand, I turned and looked at my sleeping lover. I did still feel for him but what I felt wasn't love, not anymore. Our passion had sprung from lust. There was a spark but it never burned into anything more. Or at least that's what I told myself as I stepped back into the bedroom. 

There was nothing left for me here. The world around us was moving but we were standing still. I couldn't continue to put myself through this. It would hurt him if I told him to his face that I was leaving him, so I decided that the easiest way to do this would be to leave now. 

It hurt me too, as much as I would have refused to admit it. I felt that pain as I walked over to where my sweet Cardinal was sleeping, blissfully unaware that he would wake to find his bed empty and cold. I brushed his cheek lightly with the back of my hand. "Goodbye Andrea," I whispered. "I am sorry I hurt you, but this is for the best." I turned and slipped out of the bedroom quietly, leaving him with the lingering scent of my cigarettes and whiskey.


End file.
